28 Comments
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pat handwerk's avatar

I was in a panic! I thought you got one of those nasty letters from VVO and bailed. Please don't stop posting, this stuff is laugh out loud funny

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Annie K's avatar

You write beautifully, with humour and sharp insights. Keep writing and what you cant post now, will provide material for a fantastic VVO book,

screenplay and subsequent income post cruise - think about it.

I came across you via Backroads Tourist (thanks Jeff) and look forward to your posts - keep them coming.

As an FYI our friend Jeff may need some support as it appears VVO CEO have his YT channel in their sights for silencing.

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Leslie Van Buskirk's avatar

As always, bless your cotton socks for keeping us entertained with your travel travails, though I beg you to write more (no, it doesn’t mean you’ll have to drink less). I would especially love to hear some deets about the antics/behaviors of the ship’s gray-haired Heathers—give them fake monikers and let it rip, please🙏🏼

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Fran's avatar

Best one this year! Feeling the pain, while laughing. I did not get chocolates. What have I done to offend?

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Meredith Safarik's avatar

You write SO well! And your van looks comfy!

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Richard Detrich's avatar

You are a superb travel writer! All of this should end up eventually in a book. Regards, RichardDetrich.com

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Bonny Kelter's avatar

Brilliant writing and satire, as always!

From your friend who always enjoys seeing you while passing through the high school corridor!

And did I show you the large lump on my right thigh? Seriously, did I?

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ClaireZ's avatar

Bonny, I'm glad you finally made it on board as a resident, and also glad to hear you've met Joe! I first discovered his writing in 2012, starting with his NYT Magazine article entitled "How My Aunt Marge Ended Up in the Deep Freeze." If I ever have a chance to spend any time on board the Odyssey, you two will be the first of a very small group of people I'd like to introduce myself to. I'm not a "people person" by nature, but I do enjoy the company of small groups of like-minded folks who have a wicked good (preferably warped) sense of humor. :-)

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Alix Elias's avatar

So things are picking up! At least you seem happier. And, you know, not everyone can LIKE you! Not so terrible. Although I’m sure not so wonderful either when you’re all crammed together on a not so large boat. But the way you describe it, you’re holding your own and doing fine! Does remind me of high school when I was so off the charts unpopular, it seemed to me this side of hatred, but in later years I found out there was a certain amount of envy and admiration going on.

I think that might be happening to YOU. The rest of the boaters are probably secretly in awe of your writing ability and frank view of the drawbacks of the situation. Speaks of INTEGRITY.

Anyway good luck, and here’s hoping a few kindred souls crop up for you along the way.

I can’t end without mentioning the catastrophe in L.A. It is so awful—we’re still in it—fires still spreading. The inability of the state and city to protect residents and property is so shocking I’m wondering if the entertainment industry can afford to stay there. In which case, I’m on the right coast at last!

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BigG's avatar

Superb writing.

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Tom Shroder's avatar

Very entertaining post. You probably don’t feel it would be wise to dish the deets on your fellow passengers subterranean and subcutaneous interactions, but it would be fun (if, potentially, wrong).

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Susan's avatar

Subcutaneous?

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Tom Shroder's avatar

Getting under the skin. Trying to be delicate here.

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Maggie's avatar

NB To all Americans " Stop calling jam jelly, ok ?"

Memo to Joe ' make us work for our reward, write everything in Spanish, translating it will occupy most of your geriatric followers for days'

The secret to life is to keep breathing! Maggie UK

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Velvet Farmer's avatar

Love this. I spat out my mouthful of tea. Agreed re the jam...it IS jam...jelly...is well, jelly...it goes in trifles and can maybe sometimes be found sitting sadly in a shallow bowl doused in curdled evaporated milk (yeuch...go away memories of 1970!). Re the Spanish translation bit...maybe if he just put an O at the end of a few words and typed it with caps lock on as though he were shouting (as I've seen many non Spanish speakers do) that might work too. I like how you think! Your secret to life is revolutionary and inspiring. So THAT's the secret...I never realised. *Thinks...'There's money in them thar hills...' *

Virtual hugs and much laughter from Vee...A Brit from Norwich, UK, currently Expatiated to the US of A. (Living the American dream, well almost. Depends what your dream is...I guess).

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Maggie's avatar

Hey Velvet, how YOU doin? I do miss Chandler.....

Mericans can be so funny at times, had one pull me up about my spelling ( Queens English ) she said " scuse me, cant you write American ?" Had'nt occured to me there was such a thing...go figure.

I lived in Spain for a good while and lost count of the folks that thought by shouting " havo you o goto anyo milko " lol

As to your American dream, now the Donald is back you can come out of the Biden/ controlling jill nightmare...

Ta ra rio Maggs Weston super Mare ( formally Warwickshire )

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Rebecca Fitzgerald's avatar

Joe, you remain my entertainment idol! Thanks for including us on your trip. I appreciate you immensely. Rock on. You are doing a stellar job living your life, easily my highest praise

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Janet Fullwood's avatar

Love reading about your adventure. For the record, I DID eat guinea pig (cuy) in Cuzco. Tastes like chicken...

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Velvet Farmer's avatar

Laughed so much. Loved your writing style. I came here from Backroads Tourist. I'm so glad he recommended you. I used to be a cruise director on a ship very similar to the VVR in the 1980's -90's. That ship was scrapped over twenty years ago. Over the years I sailed on so many ships like the Odyssey. The stories I could tell you... ;) - watching our passengers that boarded and disembarked every two weeks, and knowing everything that was going wrong with the ship(s) behind the scenes could make your hair curl. So now, I can live vicariously through you and your hilarious adventures. "May God bless all who sail in her (and you)." Or words to that effect. Enjoy!

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Velvet Farmer's avatar

By the way I literally joined and made an account with substack solely to have access to you. Your glorious writing and reputation precedes you.

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JLPinIN's avatar

I was anxiously awaiting this post! Thank you! Hope you’re feeling better! Can’t wait to hear more! 😬

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Le Sommet Limited's avatar

This reads like the Poseidon Adventure.

Waves included inside 🤣🤣🤣

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